Why do people send their elderly parents to nursing homes? 10 points for the best advice. Thank you?

You parents took care of you. Why can't you take care of them?Why do people send their elderly parents to nursing homes? 10 points for the best advice. Thank you?
This really is a question with many different answers. In my line of work, I primarily work with elderly people, in their own homes, in a family member's home or in a care home or assisted living facility.





1. Safety. Some elderly people have significant health problems requiring more monitoring and care than someone withouth medical training can handle. It's often cost prohibitive for a 24/7 private duty nurse or caregiver to manage complicated medical equipment. In addition, some elderly people with advanced dementia require 24/7 supervision with locked doors, padded walls, etc. Most homes aren't built to be Alzheimer's units, let alone that an elderly person with this condition requires constant monitoring. No jobs, no respite, no vacations, not even a quick run to the store without someone being home to make sure that Grandma doesn't stick a fork in an electrical socket or fall and break a hip if she gets up without her walker.





One of the biggest reasons for elder abuse is due to overwhelmed and frazzled caregivers.





2. Quality of life: Okay, Grandpa can't live by himself anymore so he moves in. He has a nice room, a TV, etc. But you and your husband work all day, so he's home alone. Kids go to school, then after school sports and Grandpa is left alone all day with only the TV for company. Many assisted living facilties or group homes have lots of activities, social interaction and things do keep a person active and involved. This combats depression, even dementia, and overall increases the quality of life.





Care for the elderly has come a long way the last few years. There are many more options out there to keep senior citizens living independently and maintaining the quality of life. It used to be that if someone couldn't live alone, the only options were living with family or in a nursing home. That's not the case anymore, I'm glad to say!Why do people send their elderly parents to nursing homes? 10 points for the best advice. Thank you?
It depends on the situation.





My mom has been taking care of her mom for the past year. My mom is divorced (was in the middle of it when my Gram came to live with her) and she retired from her job early to do it. My Gram had to have her leg amputated below the knee due to diabetes. She's been in therapy to use a prosthesis but she is having a hard time. My mom's been killing her back lifting my Gram and told her that if she was ever to lose her other leg (she's been complaining about it) that she would have to go to a home because she can't lift her without any support. She wouldn't want to do it but she wouldn't have another choice.





Also, if the elderly acquire some disease (like Ahlheimerz---IDK the spelling); it takes alot of work to take care of them; especially if you have a family of your own and a full-time job.





It just depends on the situation.
In the case of my grandmother who was in a nursing home for 6 months a few years back. She went into a nursing home after being released from the hospital. It was decided that she would need professional care because of her health cdondition and monitoring required which her children could not accomplish because of lack of training. The number of medications and equipment she needed made it unrealistic for her to recive home care. She was in the nursing home 6 months as i said and then when she was able returned to her own home with my mother and aunts and uncles taking care of her. They had a schedule to get her to and from doctors apppointments, stores, church and any other place she needed to go as well as help her fix meals, clean, and do household things. I think this was probably the ideal way to care for an elderly relative. They didnt strip her of her independence or freedom and she lived a very happy life. She spent her last day in the hospital but aside from the 6 months in the nursing home she always knew freedom, love and happiness as an elderly person. Sadly she passed away last november and is greatly missed still.
I do understand the reason you have asked this question, as i have often found myself wondering exactly the same thing.


The truth of the matter is, most elderly people need proper care.


In extreme cases, some elderly people require care that involves the use of lifting equipment, which may mean that children wishing to take on this obligation would need to have modifications done to their homes.


There are also other aspects to consider such as medical requirements, hygiene, therapy etc that the children may not be able to provide to their elderly parents.


It has also been heard that many elderly people would prefer to go to a nursing home, as they do not wish to be a burden on their children's lives.


Nursing homes, the good ones - there are some awful ones out there - provide quality care, and also provide an environment where social interaction with other residents is available. An elderly person being cared for by children may not have this interaction as these days, almost every adult works to sustain a near normal lifestyle.


My mother-in-law is in a nursing home, as she requires full time care due to the effects of a near fatal stroke. It would be impossible for any of her children, or her husband to provide the level of care that she requires.


I understand why you ask this question, but in many cases, it is not feasible for children to be caring for elderly parents.
My mom always told me to raise my kids well and take good care of them, because someday they might be taking care of me. She is there to care for her mom should she need it (which is doubtful since my Mem is the healthiest person in the family) and I know that should my parents ever need it, I'll be there for them as well.





Sometimes, however, this simply isn't an option. With fanancial problems, time constraints, and limited space, some people simply are not able to care for another person, particularly and elderly person who might require a lot more care. It's sad,. but it is the way of the world. When this is the case, I would hope that the elderly parents in question would be given the option, rather than forced into it, and I would hope that their kids would take care to ensure that their parents are treated well, and not like prisoners, and that they are happy.





The really sad thing is when kids put their parents in nursing homes simply to get them out of the way. I can't imagine what it must be like to be tossed aside like that by someone you gave your whole life to. I just hope that these kids are prepared for their kids to do the same thing.
Many elderly people have medical conditions that need to be closely monitored around-the-clock, and they need to be placed in a home to receive this care. Taking on a responsibility like an ill parent is also extremely taxing on a family and marital relationship. One of the top reasons that couples separate or divorce is because of the stress of taking on an ill parent.
some elderly adults medical issues are too complex to be dealt with at home. the parent could be too heavy or disabled for the children to take care of. My grandmother had to be put in a nursinghome after her stroke. She was wheelchair bound and it was too much for my aunt and uncle to take care of. they visited her regularly, as did my cousins who lived in town (I lived 3 hours away).





I worked in a nursing home for 2 years. I have been gone for 4 years and still visit once a week. There are residents who don't even know my name, but have watched my 2 year old grow up. my kids just know them as ';grandparents';. I tell my 2 year old that we are going to see grandmas and grandpas. My older 2 know that the residents love kids, and don't always get to see thier grandkids, so they like to see and interact with other kids
cause taking care of childeren is far more easy than a grown adult. i took care of my grandma w/ alzheimers for 3 years and i started my sophmore year. that is the hardest thing in my life i ever had to do. i begged my mom to put her in a home, but mom didnt think that was the right thing to do for her. i was the main caretaker of her and eventually quit my job to take care of her until her death. i cleaned poop off of her and the floors and her bed sheets at least 3 times a week, i fed her and bathed her. do you know how heavy dead weight is if someone is not willing to do something like take a bath and you have to basically carry them because you are the only one in the house? that is the last time i will ever do anything like that again. i told my mom that if she ever got sick when she got older i will take care of her as long as i could but eventually she will have a nurse or go into a home. it sounds cruel, but if you have never been through it then you wouldnt understand. and mine is more severe case than others but not as bad as it could have been. i almost had a nervous breakdown in o5 because (when she got dramaically worse) she would yell in scream all night and only sleep for about 2 hours so that meant ';I'; was only gettin 2 hours sleep. and all that stress of feeling guilty(wanting them to just die or go to somewhere else), emotional stress of wanting them to get better and not knowing what to do for them all the time, and the physical stress. hun lots of this sounds cruel but its human nature. i hope you have an open mind about this and can understand, nothing is as easy said than done.
i really think its wrong too, but i guess its because of the time and effort you put into it. like if your busy with a job and stuff, and you can't have the time to take care of your parents or something. or if u think that it won't be the kind of enviroment that an elderly parent of theirs would live in. or if u were on a budget, short on money. i think that people should only do it if they have a good reason. now, if someone does decide to make the choice of doing that, i think that they should once in a while check in on the elder to show that they care, which hopefully they do. what i'm saying is that there is probably a good reason for it. do whatever you think is best. just always remember to put them first when making the decision.
It would depend how bad my parents were and the living situation my mom works at the nursing home its not really that bad if people actually visit you and they don't just stick you there if I could afford it I would get them a nurse for their house and my parents don't really take care of us we were beat bad when we were little for even being a little bad and once I got a job at 12 I paid for a lot after that they hate my husband and my sister's husband and still want us to leave them I have 3 kids and happily married but most people do it so they don't have to see their parens dying all the time and so they can have lifes and not feel bad about it in this generation most people just care about themselves and that is it I would do anything for my husband, my kids or his parents but I can't guarntee on my sister, her family or my parents my parents are a probally but I don't really feel a connection to my sister she was always the favorite and no one cared
sometimes us as children have to make tuff choices when we become the parents in this day and time choices have to be made because of different jobs and the care that we caint provide 24hours a day it is probally a very tough choice but being in this day and time to be able to provide for your own family and take care of your parent you must work so you really have no choice but to make sure they are in the best of care just as they did for you when they had to send you to daycare they love you and look out for whats best
My MIL suffered several strokes, and while my FIL works (out of town), I took on the responsibility of caring for her. Prior to doing so, I never could have imagined putting a loved one in a facility, but now I can understand it completely.





Some people have the patience it takes to do such work, others do not-myself included. I chose to have my children, I did not choose for my MIL to have a stroke. While I am sad that it happened and wish her the best, her stubbornness in getting immediate medical attention (more than once) and her refusal to cooperate with therapists has left her unable to do much, though at one time she could have had she tried. She is bitter, barks orders, and takes advantage of her situation.





My FIL leaves early in the morning when he has to go out of town, so my schedule was something like getting up at 4:30 to get my husband off to work and two children (the last time I cared for her I was pregnant with my third-and I quit because of a fear of harming the baby) up and dressed and over to their house by 6. Sometimes, the children would fall back to sleep but often the stir was enough to keep them up for the day. If he was gone overnight, I had to pack clothes, food (they do not eat what we eat), toys, school supplies since we homeschool...you get the drift. It was physically and emotionally exerting on myself and my family. My husband had to come home and tend to our farm and then would spend the night with me.





This was all exaggerated by the fact that other family members were not doing their share, that my FIL took advantage of me by starting to think I should be available at moments notice, and a variety of other factors.





Had there been a little more cooperation, I could probably have handled it. But I knew what I was getting into when I had children to care for-they are my complete responsibility. My MIL is not.





Unless you have been there, you can not imagine how difficult it is. I certainly never did until I walked in those shoes...I can only imagine the stress it puts on someone doing it full time. Like I said, some people have the patience for it...I am not one of those people.
If only it were that simple. I will do everything in my power to keep my family at home with me, but sometimes folks are in such a way that it's not possible. What about Alzheimer's patients, who wander off and who have been known to do bizarre things like try to wash their dishes in the washer, or forget what a washer is for. My own mother-in-law was blithely cooking dinner in her kitchen one day when I pulled up. The kitchen curtains were on fire and she didn't recognize that fact. Also, many people need around-the-clock care such as being turned from side to side so they won't get bed sores. How is a person with a job and kids supposed to be able to do that every few hours, around the clock? It is tragic how older folks are treated in our society, but sometimes they are better off in a place where there is 24 hour staffing.
Let me first say that I won't say it's right or wrong. I can tell you that a lot of stuff has been in the news lately talking about my age group being in a ';sandwich'; generation. We have children to raise and for alot of us now have to worry about caring for our parents as well. I don't know if you've ever been in a situation (I haven't yet) but I have seen the effects of taking care of your parents at home. There can be a lot of stress in that you have to remain at home instead of working and/or you have to hire someone to watch your family member during the day. With kids, as they age they get to a point where they no longer require childcare, this will never happen with a parent at home.





There can be a great deal of stress if you have to tend to their physical needs. It's upsetting to them (if they realize it) and to the child when they have to clean them up when they are incontinent. Imagine putting a depends on your father, as an example. Having a parent in a nursing home kind of erases having those types of responsibilities.





The stress can affect the whole dynamic in the household. People can become resentful if they have no outlet from their responsibilities. That's why there is respite care in some areas to help give caregivers a break.





Imagine a parent at home w/ dementia. They no longer recognize you and at times are angry with you and try to strike you (I have seen this in my own family, although not directly). You have to worry about them injuring themselves, even during the middle of the night.





Truth be told it's a scary situation and I pray I never have to deal with making these types of decisions. I have empathy for those people who have to deal with this on a daily basis.
Because my mother told me to! If you dont believe me I'll give you her phone number and ask her!! My mother for the last 12 years has taken care of her mother who lives about 2 hours away..In the last 6 years my grandmothers health has gotten worse. My mother told me that if she EVER got in the condition that her mother was in to stick her in the nursing home. She told me that she didn't want me or my sister to go through the mental or emotional hardship she has had to do..Now granted she would take care of her mother all over again in a heartbeat and still does with all the love and support..but my mother stated that she did NOT want to put us throught that. She stated it would be selfish. And guess what-- I didn't have my children so one day they can take care of me. That would be EXTREMELY selfish on my part, to expect my children to take care of me just because I am raising them now!!! They didn't ask to be born!!! I wanted them..so they are my responsiblity..but that does not AND WILL NEVER mean that I expect them to take care of me ';just because';. Only a selfish parent would a EXPECT anything from their kids!!!
I'm not agreeing with it but! sometimes things can be to difficult for one person to handle,when your still young yourself %26amp; have your own life it maybe hard to handle taking care of your parents %26amp; children at the same time,or even working or spending quality time with your spouse %26amp; it can also use up alot of your free time %26amp; make things very stressful,Ive watched my aunt deal with this %26amp; shes absolutley losing it...
Some people have to work full time jobs to pay house payments and send their kids to college. I'm not condoning it by any means but some people just can't watch their parents, and it is against the law to leave an elderly person by themselves for more than 8 hours at a time.
If you have a full time job, with kids and a busy life. It is probably not the best thing to look after a demanding (and perhaps demented) parent. It is not because you do not love them anymore... but because you physically cannot provide them with the care they truely deserve.
It is way too much work for someone with a full time job to take care of an elderly person
There are two answers, the more likely being that thier parents failed to instil the morals and values for their children to understand and have the compasion for their parents and realise that a nursing home may not be the best place for them. What often happens is one of two scenarios: A senior citizen tries to make his adult children aware that help is needed, but the children ';are in denial and don't want to think about it,'; or adult children procrastinate because they don't want their parents and others ';to assume they are waiting for that parent to die to get the inheritance.';





The other reason may be that the kids just aren't in a position to take care of their parents, so they have to put them in a home.